A heart ringed with a crown of thorns.  On fire but not burning. A gentle-faced man calmly exposing the contents of his chest. 

Napping on the cool satin bedspread in my grandmother’s back bedroom, the Sacred Heart of Jesus icon on the wall above me seemed poised to speak.  I waited for the words while I drifted.  Childish terrors of ghosts and monsters in the closet haunted me.  My long ago deceased grandfather had slept in that room.

Decades later, I don’t have to imagine what death looks like.  I’ve seen it, firsthand. But internal wounds still puzzle me, and I struggle to find the inner radiance that can heal them.

“A heart can be soft even when pierced,” iconic Jesus seems to say.  “A human being can maintain a soul in a world full of hurts, rejections, defeats, betrayals, disappointments, tragedies, and horrors.”

There’s a way.  It’s possible. But maintaining a soft heart might be the hardest thing we ever have to do. Thorns multiply one by one.  Some are bigger and sharper than others.

Loss of innocence. Thorn.  Burdens of pain, debt, responsibility.  Thorns.  Loved ones dying or leaving.  Thorns.  A body in decline.  Thorn.  War, famine, pandemic, hurricane, tornado, flood.  Uncontrollable thorns.  Scorn, injustice, prejudice, genocide.  The thousand mistakes of a lifetime.  Mishaps, regrets, violations and violence.

How many and how deep are your thorns?

Stories show us what can endure after the struggle attempts to destroy us. Thorns surround the castle where sleeping beauty lays waiting to be awakened.  Before achieving resurrection, Jesus endures crucifixion with a mocking crown of thorns affixed to his head.  Displaced migrants stumble through cactus searching for water and sanctuary in a place where can be hearts as barren as the land.

Maintaining a heart lit with love may be the greatest task.  Life defeats us over and over again.  We wall ourselves off.  Sew the sutures tight, but the radiance within never diminishes.  Radiance doesn’t belong to us or to the world of broken and breaking things.  It’s a gift we’re given, and we can cultivate it or not.

The most essential work of being human is finding love again and again after we’ve lost it or had it stolen from us.  We close up our glowing chests when it’s not safe. We shade the light because giving it away feels like death.  But we are wrong.  Giving our hearts away is the only thing that can resurrect us from the dead.

One day, all that will be left of us will be the radiance that we’ve put in the hearts of others.

Go beneath the breastbone of life and find the true work.  May radiance meet you in the holiest of places.  May you find resurrection within the chambers of the Sacred Human Heart.

-April 4, 2021